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Cruise, Holmes Have Baby Girl
Details surrounding the birth, which was planned under the tenets of the Church of Scientology as a silent procedure, weren't disclosed....
Well, well, well... It seems those poor Thetans lose out again. The Chosen One has succeeded in using the Virgin Queen to bring forth the Messiah Child thus foiling Xenu's plans for escape from the Prison Planet and that darned eternal battery. But Xenu has spawn of his own...
Brooke Shields gives birth to daughter
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to watch these two Power Entities duke it out in the Great Battle at the Nexus of The End of Time.
Xenu is pleased.
In June, Cruise announced to a Paris press conference that he had proposed to Holmes atop the Eiffel Tower... No wedding date has been disclosed.
Unfortunately for Katie, there will be no wedding day. Giving birth to the Child of Prophesy has drained the life force from her frail human form and who wants to marry a lifeless husk?
And finally...
A publicity blitz for Cruise's new movie, "Mission: Impossible III," was set to begin Wednesday but the actor canceled all press appearances...
Hells yeah, he did. You can't buy this kind of press. Sure it took nine months, but that's what I call a successful publicity campaign. All that's left is to "discover" a MI3 birth mark and he can kick that dirty uterus container to the curb.
posted by Norm | 7:45 PM
7 Comments:
Thetons' pay the big bucks though. Since you don't care one way or another, why don't you join up? It could only help!
Oh, I care very much where my money goes as, I'm sure, do you. If the purging of body thetons were free, I might indulge the sheer terror threatening to envelop my soul at the thought of Xenu's return to power.
Might be a worthwhile investment for some serious doggie treats in the future! Not to mention, a ride in the sky with Travolta! Mile High Club - here I come!
The TomKitten is evil.
Fuck off.
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