I Came From My Father's Penis? or My Dad's In Town and Yes, He Reads This

Comedy is something I take very seriously. Someone who stands up in a room full of strangers expecting him to make them laugh, man, that's a tough racket. I have tremendous respect for comedy performers and the art form in general.

Something funny to me, though, is the infighting within the comedy world. Sketch performers and stand-ups have little respect for each other. Improv artists think they're both contrived and everybody hates performance artists. Even within the sects there are feuds. This guy is a hack, that guy is derivative, etc. Take the ongoing dispute between David Cross (complete disclosure, I am a fan) and Dan Whitney. a.k.a. "Larry the Cable Guy." Apparently Larry said something about David in his book and David responded with an open letter on his site. The upshot is that I'm entertained, mostly by the idea of two comedians fighting.

Regardless, my dad is in town and his visit brought to mind a bit from one of my favorite comedians, Louis CK. It goes like this (keep in mind that most of the comedy comes from the delivery):

You ever have to fart but you force it and end up shitting just a little bit...

Right in your dad's face...

And then everyone on the airplane is, like, whoa!

I suppose the degree to which you find this funny depends on your relationship with your father, but what I like about the joke is it's simple, streamlined structure. Start with a familiar concept and build to an expectation. Then widen the lens to reveal that you've turned the expectation on it's head. Then do it again. Theme and variation, man. It's cool.


It being Friday, here is a grab-bag of links to tide you over to Monday...

457-Pound Woman to Be Cremated after Weeks in Morgue
"It is a much more involved process, and it takes quite a bit more time," Springer said. "You have to do it slower."
--So, it's like BBQ?

Bird-Flu Pandemic Would Likely Start in California
Big surprise, there.

MINNELLI: 'I'M SICK OF SEX'
Does she have to remind us that she had sex? [shudder]

Randy Macho-Man Savage is an Alien or An Intelligent Perspective on the Immigration Issue

There's a lot of attention right now on immigration and how bad it is (if you are a Republican up for re-election) or how good it is (if you are a Democrat). Honestly, I don't feel like I have an basis for comment since A) I'm not an immigrant and B) my livelihood is not threatened by an immigrant. Quite frankly, I'm more worried about losing my job to someone in India via out-sourcing then I am about someone taking it from me locally. Bet that issue doesn't come up in the debate.

Anywho, it's all very confusing. Thank god we have The Onion to put it all in perspective.

Immigration Story

And for those of you who might not know yet, President Bush finally got his wish:

Some good news from Iraq.

Randy Newman Was Right or Height Niggers?!

Now, wait. Wait. I know. I know and I'm sorry, but I'm trying to work through something here.

I had an Asian friend who would occasionally refer to herself as a "rice-nigger" and I was never at easy with the term. I also knew an Arab guy who referred to himself as a "sand-nigger" and I'm not making this up. They said it was okay for them to use these terms because they were talking about themselves and/or the minority group to which they belonged. But it struck me today that they weren't exactly coining a phrase. Just adding a noun to the front of that word doesn't change it. In fact, it makes it worse because they're actually using it in a way that is reminiscent of the original meaning. That term was ripped out of the hands of the folks who came up with it for a good reason and I don't see anybody giving it back anytime soon.

Now what I really want to ask is: What ever happened to "Midget?" Why is that a bad word again? I guess because it's a label decided upon by a majority for a minority who didn't get any say in the process. It doesn't have quite the storied past of the n-word, but it's offensive because it was our word for them. "Little people" is okay because little people came up with it, and I like that. Still, I wonder if one day little people will reclaim the m-word and greet each other with cries of "S'up my midget?"

It may have already started as a quick perusal through the filmography of Bridget "the Midget" Powers will reveal.

Number 13... Now that's a title.

Bridget Powers on IMDB

Dubai, DuBois, Doo Doo or Any Port in a [shit]Storm

You remember that whole Ports Deal thingy? What happened to that? I guess the Dubai company involved decided it wasn't very good PR and sold the whole deal to a more U.S.-palatable subsidiary of itself (i.e. one not based in a country with the word "Arab" in it's name). I'm sure the whole thing will re-surface after mid-term elections when the Democrats have enough votes to move forward with their impeachment proceedings. Man, what is with that new political strategy? Anyway...

In the meantime I thought I would put this snippet from Marketplace out there for consideration. It's a pretty thought provoking perspective on the national security issue but not from an "Us vs. Them" point of view so much as a "Hey, in a global market place is it really smart to privatize parts of our national infrastructure?" point of view.

real audio clip from marketplace 03.01

"Sickness" or "Another Mother Fucking Cunt"

Today I'm sick. Yesterday I was sick. In all likelihood, I will be sick tomorrow. What the fuck is wrong with the world? CNN just offered me a solution -- I am possessed. By a demon. Actually, now that I think about it, they're right. A foreign entity has entered my body and taken control of some of it's functions. I don't think it's what the evangelicals had in mind. But you know, if I could hire some mother-cunting huckster/preacher to come over and exorcise the viruses and bacteria from my body, I'd do it. But then, faith is probably an integral part of that process, so I guess I'm totally screwed.

But seriously, CNN is covering possession stories? I don't know why that upsets me. Jesus, there are so many stupid people. I guess some news source has to service them. I had just assumed FOX had that market cornered. Oh, well. In honor of my affliction here is a link to our impending doom.

www.washingtonpost.com

test 1 2 3

The is a test. This is only a test. I swear to fucking god if you so much as start the breath that leads to the enunsiation of a phrase that has anything to do with spelling or grammer corrections I will find out where you live and mis-spell every word you see for an entire day.